There is really nothing new to update the world yet, but for the sake of my sanity I decided it was time to write something, so as life would have it I’m going to share about a point in every month that I don’t really like to talk about. The two-week wait…. a truly dreadful time for me.
I am currently in my two-week wait and let’s just say emotions are running high. It’s a combination of hope, dread, and of course HORMONES. For those that don’t know or remember the two week wait or TWW is a period of time in between ovulation and your monthly, bloody reminder that your dreams are dashed again. It’s pretty much the worst. You would think your period would be the worst time when trying to get pregnant but no. Trust me when I say the TWW is the absolute worst time of the month. It’s the time where you really start thinking about pregnancy and babies. Hopes run so high that you start thinking every twinge your body makes is a sign that you succeeded. You completely forget that a period also has symptoms and unfortunately they often mirror pregnancy symptoms. Also don’t forget the hormones, being so close to your possible period means that your body is basically a walking, talking factory of aggression and tears. Add hormones in to a desperate hope for a baby and let’s just say the outcome isn’t ever pretty.
Waiting is the name of the game when trying and it isn’t at all easy to do. During this time you have to choose between preparing for your monthly, unwelcome visitor or the possibility of something much, much sweeter. I can attest to the fact that almost always the possibility of being pregnant wins. I have come to the conclusion that women’s product companies know this fact too as the tampons are almost always right next to the pregnancy tests! Let’s just say I never leave with just tampons… if I even buy tampons at all. Today was no different as I battled within myself in the aisle of the commissary, ultimately going with the overpriced pregnancy tests.
It almost feels wrong to buy tampons during the TWW, like you have already decided you have failed for the month. Of course, I hate myself every month when my period arrives and I realize I have no tampons, but my habits still don’t change. I continue to hope every month and every month my hopes are dashed. If there is one thing I could give up in this trying to conceive journey it would be the TWW. Life would be so much simpler if we could just have sex and then take a test instead of all this waiting. The waiting is what makes the trying to so hard in my opinion. It’s one of the cruelest mind games life plays on us and there’s no other way to describe it other than to say it sucks.
So that is where I am right now. If you see me this week you’ll probably notice I’m on edge. I feel like crap because PMS sucks, I am exhausted from hoping that it isn’t PMS, and I am overly emotional. Just know that if I snap at you it isn’t intentional and I’ll be back to normal in a week. Right now though, I am busy praying every single day/spare moment that God will give me what I want already and I am trying to hold it together as I very impatiently wait for my turn.