“The greater your storm, the brighter your rainbow.” -Unknown
It’s started to hit me that we are really doing this. It was exciting at first, but now I’ll admit my excitement has waned and I’m starting to feel the reality of the situation. I am bruised from the injections, which I expected to happen, but it’s now a reminder that this is happening. It’s a little scary to be honest.
I went into this telling myself it doesn’t matter how much it hurts, it’s worth it. I still believe that and I am doing my best to keep myself focused on the goal. I take comfort in the fact that some of it isn’t as bad as I thought it would be. The injections are actually something I look forward to of a morning, obviously sticking myself with a needle isn’t fun… but it’s me doing something and after doing nothing for so long I’m happy to be doing something! I’ll gladly take the bruises if it means that the end of this journey may come to a close at some point. As for the side effects, I’ll be honest they aren’t fun. I don’t have any headaches though, which is something I was told by several women they had, but so far I haven’t had that. I do have some stomach upset and my stomach is tender from injecting myself every morning but it’s not as bad as I thought it would be. Dr. L did say today that once the Gonal F starts doing it’s job I’m probably going to feel it. After all, I’m not going to be releasing just one egg so I can imagine I’ll probably get some bloating and cramping from that.
Now about my appointment today, it’s a little hard to keep hearing that this plan isn’t working and this plan isn’t going to work. I understand a lot of it is just trial and error but I guess I assumed my body would respond well to the Gonal F because I already ovulate on my own. Of course, my body wants to be difficult! So we didn’t get approved to use the Ovridrel yet… I am back on a higher dose of Gonal F for another week. I will go back on Tuesday for another sonogram and hopefully it’ll show something happening!
So for the revised game plan… we are going to do a higher dose of Gonal F, if it works we will then do the trigger shot of Ovridrel that will make me release the eggs and then I have to start Progesterone suppositories as these shots lower my progesterone levels which isn’t good if you want to get pregnant and stay pregnant. If I end up being pregnant I will continue the Progesterone suppositories until I am 10 weeks to be safe. So, depending on when we finally get to do the trigger shot I will find out if cycle #1 worked about 14 to 16 days after I do the trigger shot!
It’s been a very tough and trying week here at the Bernal residence. PCSing is hard, I give props to the people who breeze through these things. I have hope that someday I will be able to do the same and not cringe when I hear the word moving again! I have been very overwhelmed with everything we have had to do so I apologize for how long it has taken me to update everyone! But anyways, the move is for the most part over… we are currently at the inn on base at Twentynine Palms which we will be living at for at least the next few weeks as we wait for housing to give us a place to live! It’s a little stressful I won’t lie. Today, I found myself incredibly overwhelmed because due to some issues with checking out of the unit for my husband he dropped us off at 29 last night and won’t be back here to stay till Friday! So…..me and the dogs are slowly adjusting to being here by ourselves for the next couple of days.
Anyways, we had our second infertility appointment yesterday morning. My test results were not as insightful as I had hoped they would be. Basically, I’m not getting pregnant and the doctor can’t say why yet. There are many more tests we could do…I mean seriously, there are endless tests…. but the doctor and I agree with him, have decided to treat this as unexplained infertility for the moment. It’s possible that the eggs I am releasing are not normal, which basically means they can’t be fertilized. It’s not something someone my age usually has such an issue with so there is also the chance that my tubes are blocked, but again that is not something the doctor thinks is very likely. Personally, I would prefer to go ahead with the HSG Test which would check for blocked tubes and a few other things but the doctor explained his reasoning as to why he’d like to try the treatment plan I’m about to talk about for 2 cycles before we move on. If these next two medicated cycles don’t work then we will do the HSG and depending on results we would either be preparing for IUI or IVF. Those are not timed intercourse treatments so unfortunately, those treatments have to be paid out-of-pocket. So let us all pray one of these next two cycles work!
So, the treatment plan where do I start? It’s a lot more complicated than I thought our first cycle of treatment would be let me just say that. I am going to have to call their office tomorrow for better clarification as I was a little overwhelmed yesterday but I will explain what I think I understand so far. I am to start birth control pills on the 2nd day of my period this month and continue them for a time that I still need to ask the doctor about, this is to get my cycle on track with the clinic so I don’t ovulate before they want me to and such. From there I have to schedule a sonogram with a OBGYN who will look for any cysts that may have developed. If there are no cysts then my doctor at the infertility clinic will give me the go ahead along with instructions on how to begin taking Clomid (basically stimulates ovulation), the doctor will also give me instructions on when to begin using the injections they sent home with me (this will get my body to release more than 1 egg), and then the instructions get a little less clear but from what I gather I will go in and get an injection of Ovidrel (it contains the pregnancy hormone) from what I am assuming that injection makes ovulation occur fairly rapidly after receiving it. I will be monitored throughout this process to make sure I do not release too many eggs. The cycle will be canceled and I will not be allowed to ttc if more than 3 eggs are released as that would be unsafe for me. I was a little freaked out by the idea that I could very well be ttc when I have 3 eggs waiting… I mean after all nobody really wants triplets! But I have been assured that it is not likely all 3 would be normal eggs. Basically, what this treatment is doing is trying to give me more eggs in a cycle so as to increase my chances of conceiving. I’m going into this a little overwhelmed and I’m in a bit over my head at the moment it feels like but I’ve been assured it’s a learning process and I’ll get the hang of it all soon. Also, since I will be receiving a trigger shot I can’t really test early like I normally do for pregnancy since if I test early it’s going to show positive, but it would be because of the shot.
Anyways, if you were able to follow all of that I applaud you because I’m still wrapping my head around it all. I am excited to start this treatment but pretty nervous. I do not like needles so that will be interesting… especially since they think my husband is going to be giving me these injections. But I am determined and I pray that all of this pays out in the end. I have no idea how many trips to Balboa are going to be required but my hope is that we are able to find a good OBGYN here that can coordinate with the infertility clinic well enough that we can limit the amount of trips we have to take. Our doctor seems to be used to people not living in San Diego where the hospital is so he has a good knowledge on how to keep us from making any unnecessary trips to him which I greatly appreciate.
Thank you to everyone that has been so supportive and given us advice, we appreciate you all and let’s just pray that this works!